Couple's Retirement Puzzle

The Movie UP is a poignant and funny "must see" for all ages

I recently saw the Pixar movie UP with my son and husband --and recommend it for all ages. In its lovely, colorful, animated way it shows the journey of life from the innocence of childhood with its heroes and dreams to the second half of life with losses and disappointments.  We share in the dreams and sadness of childhood sweethearts, Ellie and Carl, as they grow old together. After Ellie dies, Carl, a 78 year old grumpy widower and former balloon salesman sets out to fulfill Ellie's dreams. In the journey that follows, in spite of himself, Carl becomes an "action hero" who has to confront his childood hero, connects with Russell (an Adventure Scout who wants to earn his badge by helping old people), Kevin, a colorful bird,  and Dug, a wonderful talking dog, and ultimately, finds his own connections and purpose and meaning for his life. I've over- simplified this, but it's well worth seeing! I'd love to hear your reactions once you've seen the movie.  

Planning for retirement improves the chances for a happy ending

Over a thousand people between the ages of 55 and 75 were recently polled by  AARP The Magazine to see how marriages were affected when one or both partners retired. The results indicated that 74 percent were happier in retirement, 21 percent reported that retirement led to increased tension. According to Features Editor, Gabrielle Redford, the percentage of those reporting increased tension would have been lower if those couples had planned for retirement.

When couples do plan for retirement decisions can be made jointly and there are fewer surprises.  Ironically, couples seem to spend more time planning vacations than they do planning the next part of their life.

Starting the Conversation

We often teach what we most need to learn. It occurred to me one day while preparing a talk for a speaking engagement that my husband and I had never seriously talked about "what's next". We did finally meet with our financial advisor to review "what's left" and that was a necessary, if not discouraging, reality check. But I talk with couples all the time about those "must have" conversations and know how important it is. So what were we avoiding? Disagreement! I've finally discovered my life's work which I love. After retiring several times he is ready to leave the corporate world, do something more creative and satisfying and spend more time together. He would like to live in California, I don't want to leave friends and family in New England. Lots to talk about and we're finally doing it. It's not always easy but we're working towards aligning our goals and vision. In the process we are learning more about "who" we are and what's important to each of us at this time in our lives.